I have so many questions.. what is loving yourself anyway?

There is so much said about love, so many opinions, so many reality tv shows.

Love is regularly measured by a destination of finding “the one”. If that’s not found we are then told we need to learn to love ourselves more. We are told if we don’t love ourselves how do we expect others to love us?

But when we find “the one” is that where we can stop trying to love ourselves? Are all the broken parts of us magically fixed in that moment and we can then concentrate on loving our partners and all their energy is now based on loving us. Is the responsibility of us feeling loved now solely placed on our partner?

What if we never find “the one” does that mean we have failed in the quest to love ourselves? Who even makes these rules anyway?

Does the love we have for ourselves need to look a certain way to even be considered loving ourselves enough? Does it look like smiling through life and not allowing the words or opinions of others to affect us? Or does it look like allowing ourselves to feel the pain of these words and opinions? Does recognising this pain mean that we love ourselves less because we need to gain validation from others or does it mean we love ourselves more by recognising that their words and opinions don’t line up with the true love that we know we deserve?

Are we only looking like we love ourselves on the outside so that we would become friends with those that also look like they truly love who they are?

Does having a lot of friends because you look like you love yourself beat looking at the deep parts of your heart and discovering whether in fact you truly do love who you are? If our aim in loving ourselves is to have others love us anyway?

Why do we truly need to love ourselves? Can’t we just fake it until enough people love us the way we could never do for ourselves?

Is it still ok to love ourselves despite the fact we are in a relationship or not or who we are friends with? Is that a socially acceptable way of loving ourselves? Who are we loving ourselves for? Does it even matter if we love ourselves? Do people care that we love ourselves or do they just want to see us happy?.. their version of happy.

I know I want to love myself despite what my life looks like on the outside. I hope you do too x